If there's been a lack of posts lately it's because I've found that people will actually pay me to write. Yay.

I'm working as a summer intern at The Morning Star back in Vernon and also am writing a monthly business column for Off-Centre Magazine, which can be found in red boxes in Kamloops and around the North Okanagan.

            Walking towards class, Friday, I contemplated my scenario.  Travels with T.O. was to be resurrected for one issue but the fact is, walking to and from school rarely provides one with anecdotes.  There is a lack of armed 10-year-olds and, with the weather turning pleasant again after 9 months of winter, campus travels are rather incident free.

            The paper that slowly fluttered down from a third floor clock tower window before it caught the wind bringing it down on the sidewalk in front of me thus seemed to be sent from an indeterminate deity.  On it were the minutes of a recent meeting that involved faculty, administration, and student counsel.  The minutes contained a number of approved proposals which could slightly change the face of TRU for years to come.

            The first order of business, according to the minutes, was to double all food and drink prices.  Pizza will now cost $7 a slice with a can of pop costing $2.50.  Administration believes that the higher prices will result in a 200% increase in food revenue.  They anticipate a slow first month but, after student bodies begin to weaken and ribs begin to show, the second month will see profits skyrocket as malnourished and delirious students engage in an orgy of food consumption.

            The school also will begin signing contracts enabling developers to build new apartment complexes.  The university will donate the land so long as developers promise to build the complexes 50 stories high, charge $1500/month, and build only on areas now occupied by student parking lots.  An additional resolution was passed to ensure the staff parking would not be altered.

            On a possibly related note, the school has been asked to forward a message to security.  Apparently Superstore is looking for security to police their parking lot.  Applicants must be conscious and own a shotgun and baseball bat.

            On student council’s agenda was the hiring of a new student council who, once the current council is made redundant and fired, will be sued and have to pay out $1 million in damages.  After resigning in disgrace, Students for Change will resume governing.

            In a stunning turn, representatives for the oMega announced that Rupert Murdoch had bought the oMega and hired former New York Times reporter Jayson Blair as editor.  Despite questions about Murdoch’s motives and Blair’s reason for wanting a job at a student newspaper, oMega assured TRU that the addition of Blair would make the paper even more fair and balanced.

            Meanwhile, TRU and city transportation have decided to renew the U-Pass program.  In response to pleas for better bus coverage, a new express route between TRU and Padova will be established that will make stops “wherever and whenever the operator feels like it.”

            After reading over the memo I stopped in Old Main, deposited the piece of paper in a recycling bin and wondered why nothing interesting ever happens at TRU.

Katray

Remade Live (2005)

Who are Katray?

Katray are Katherine Jane and Ray Jamaica. Have you figured out how they came up with their name yet? Jane is the one playing the droning intro bass on the opener “Going to California” and elsewhere on the disc. She also sings on a couple of tracks including the melodic “Johnny Rotten,” and is sometimes featured strumming an acoustic guitar. Jamaica is the one singing and occasionally wailing on his electric guit-box. According to their website, the duo first got together in 2000 and toured across the country in support of their debut, “Katray-Katray.” Maybe the CIA has further background information on this duo but this music writer does not.

What do they sound like?

On Remade Live, which is a live album with little production, Katray sound, well, like they’re playing live. With a droning bass, a slow rhythm, a sometimes screeching guitar and lots of distortion, Katray sound like they’re very depressed. Very. Depressed. Hard rock in the style of Bleach-era Nirvana, Katray does not have Cobain’s lyrical or melodic chops to allow their music to rise above the low-production values. Jamaica’s vocals are raspy and, to be frank, tuneless. He often crams a two-syllable word into a space where only a short word could suffice by saying the word really quick. Maybe he thinks he’s being vocally unique. He’s not. It sounds awful. Jane’s voice is much better and it is when she sings “I’ve been kissing Johnny Rotten,” is when the band shows potential. “Johnny Rotten” echoes the Pixies more than Nirvana or Soundgarden and this seems to suit the two-piece band. When Jamaica and Jane alternate versus elsewhere on the record, such as on “TV Talks,” Jane’s lyrics are always sound and flow better.

Why should I buy this record (if I can find it)?

If you like Soundgarden’s Batmotorfinger or Nirvana’s Bleach and are willing to lower your standards a little then you may enjoy Remade Live.

Why shouldn’t I buy this record?

If you don’t like Bleach or Badmotorfinger you will not like this. Period. If you haven’t heard either of them, buy those first. Then, if they change your life, consider buying this.

What song should I download (if I can find it)?

Download “Johnny Rotten,” if you want something that you will listen to and keep on your computer. If you want a sample of the rest of the CD, try and download “Looking for Alice."

You can buy Remade Live or listen to Katray’s first CD by following the links from their website, Katray.com.

Recently, actually ever since deciding to go to South America and try and write a book I've been much more taken with literary/narrative non-fiction where not only can a writer report, but he or she can write.  You can make words not only work but also woo.  It's made me reconsider how my career will progress.  Working for a newspaper or writing books?  Hmmmm, we'll see.

The relationship between agriculture and the environment has long been fraught with tension and conflict.  From intrusive animals, pests and vegetation to regulations over fertilizers, agriculture has often seen the environment as more of a hassle than an asset. 

Some new programs active in the British Columbia interior are designed to foster a new spirit of harmony between farming and the environment.

One such program is the Environmental Farm Plan Program which hopes to improve the image, efficiency, profitability and long-term sustainability of its farms by promoting and assisting farms in becoming more conscious of the land they use and affect.

The voluntary and confidential project is open to registered farms from organic farms to cattle ranches to orchards and is administered on the ground by grass root groups like the Kamloops-based, B.C. Cattlemen’s Association.

Local hobby rancher Delray Shannon is one of 13 part-time farm planners for the Cattlemen, the most active group.  Shannon has travelled as far North as Clearwater, as far east as Ashcroft and as far west as Salmon Arm to spread the word on the program. He said he has given workshops and workbooks to as many as 100 different people in the interior.

As a planner, Shannon’s job is to host workshops where farmers can learn about the program and pick up a workbook.  Farmers hoping to participate in the program fill out the work book, often with the help of a planner.  An example of a question in the workbook (all of which are Yes and No questions) is “Are there any potential sources of contamination within 50 feet of the well?”

Other areas covered include waste disposal, fertilization, quality, air quality, and impact on wildlife. If there are all No’s in one area, then the problem needs attention.  This risk assessment stage can be done individually or with the help of a registered planning adviser.

So far, Shannon estimates that he’s finished ten completed farm plans and three which are almost done.  If this total seems low, that’s because it is.  As of the end of 2005, only 2% of ranchers have completed Environmental Farm Plans, which certify farms as compliant with all environmental rules.

A budget published on July 13, 2004 by the Cattlemen’s Association predicted 677 completed farm plans, but, by the end of December, only 92 plans had been completed.

A small percentage of those may be non-cattle operations operating through the Cattlemen’s Association because of geographic proximity.  According to Cattlemen statistics, there are 4,013 cattle operations in British Columbia.

Shannon, said that he sees a number of reasons ranchers have been slow to pick up on the program. “One of them is probably the age demographics of the farmers,” he said.  Shannon said a lot of them are nearing retirement age and “one more poke from a government type is not something they’re interested in.”

There is also the issue of mad cow disease, which Shannon said has devalued his small personal stock to 20 per cent of its original value and has him contemplating selling them off.  This has prevented this farm planner from taking part in the program so far.

Shannon, though, isn’t discouraged.  He likened the program to a wave which is just starting to catch. .He said that the younger generation seems more interested and that, as more ranchers see the program for what it is, more will join.

His prognosis is shared by Dave Melnychuk, a planner with the B.C. Milk Producer’s Association.  Melnychuk said, “I get a lot more calls now than I used to get earlier because the word spreads among the farmers themselves.”

There are still no statistics, though, that show an increase, although a recently published update estimated 1,247 statements of completion would be submitted in the coming year for all sectors.  So far 392 statements of completion have been given.  The 2006/2007 British Columbia budget cited mad cow disease and bird flu as two reasons for the program’s slow start.

Bob France, the newly appointed general manager of the Cattlemen’s Association said, “We try and get [the program] out in front of people as much as we can.”  He said the Cattlemen’s Association promotes the program in the magazine they publish as well as by organizing workshops.

Cattlemen president Mark Nairn said ranchers have been the most prevalent planners of any sector and that it shows that the industry realizes it must improve environmentally in some areas. “It’s the kind of program that really demonstrates our commitment to the environment,” he said from his Riske Creek ranch, 50 kilometres west of Williams Lake.

Personally, Nairn said travel and time constraints have forced him to delay doing a plan, although he intends to undertake one soon.

Elaine Spearing, a farm planner with the Certified Organic Association of B.C., has conducted at least a dozen workshops.  While she said that the number of farms represented at the workshops has declined since the beginning of the program, she is hoping that more farmers will begin to take part.  She echoed Shannon and said she believes .  once more farms complete the program and receive funds to aid them, the reputation of the program will grow and farmers who were once hesitant will start to join

Spearing also said that, because of the intense workload of many farmers, there is some time between when farmers attend workshops and when they actually are able to complete their workbook.

Shannon, the Cattlemen’s Association planner, echoed Spearing, “I think the biggest thing is time.  Most of the ranchers I’ve talked to say they want to [take part].”  But, he said, the one or two hours a farmer may have to spare is not enough time to complete a plan.

After the workbook is completed, producers prepare an action plan to resolve any issues brought to light.  This is often done with a planner like Shannon or Spearing.

Action plans include two tiers with the first tier consisting of steps to ensure ensure a farm complies with all environmental regulations.  The second tier are actions which producers can undertake to improve the overall environmental impact of the operation.

Because the program is confidential, if producers are unable to comply with areas that breach environmental regulations, the planner cannot report the producer.  The confidentiality, it is hoped, will encourage participation of farmers who worry that they don’t currently comply with environmental rules.

Partial financing for action plans can be obtained from the plan if the producer decides to implement solutions called “Beneficial Management Practices.”  Funding can cover up to 50 per cent of a project’s total cost and requires a planning adviser’s approval of the action plan. There is a lifetime maximum of $30,000 that can be obtained by any one farm.  

Funding can be obtained for more than 60 practices including, moving livestock or horticultural facilities away from streams, gathering information about pests, and modifying or improving irrigation equipment to ensure it wastes less water.

One local farm planning to access the available funding is Dairy Road organic farm Thistle Farm.  The farm hosted a farm plan workshop last October conducted by Spearing, who works for the Certified Organic Association of B.C.  Co-owner Debbie Kellogg, who runs the farm with her husband, said that they had not yet had time to do their own Environmental Farm Plan.  However, she plans to meet with Spearing in April and eventually to apply for money to help improve their farm’s water management practices.

Funding cannot be obtained for works started before the approval of an Environmental Farm Plan.  This means that the work Thistle Farms has already undertaken in order to become organic cannot be reimbursed and has made participation in the program not as urgent.  “We’re certified organic, so we already have some pretty strict guidelines we have to follow,” Kellogg said.

Among the guidelines Thistle Farm must abide by is a ban on pesticides and herbicides, regular crop rotation and regular soil testing.

Once a plan is complete, the farmers can have the workbook and action plan, assessed by a planner.  If the farm is in compliance with all environmental regulations, the farm is given a statement of completion.

If the workbook is completed and no work is required, or if an action plan has been completed and resolved problems brought to light by the workbook, then the farm is granted “implemented status.”  The program also supplies a bright sign that proclaims the farm’s status.

The Environmental Farm Plan Program was created in 2002 as part of the Agriculture Policy Framework Agreement signed on to by the 10 provincial ministers of agriculture and the federal minister.  As part of the program, the provinces were each expected to create and submit a proposal for an Enivironmental Farm Program.

British Columbia was the first province to have its program in place and in 2003 was given $24 million from the federal government to use towards the program until 2008.  That money, plus $10 million from the provincial government is then redirected to the British Columbia Agriculture Council which administers the program.  Money is also received from private organizations like Ducks Unlimited.

The British Columbia Agriculture Council oversees the program and organizes the training of planners must take.  The council then delegates the application of the program to planners like Shannon and Spearing.

In 2004, the British Columbia Agricultural Council signed a $3-million deal with the B.C. Cattlemen’s Association that sees the Kamloops-based organization promote and implement the program.

The Environmental Farm Plan Program is not the only project trying to bridge the gap between producers and the environment. In fact, aside from donating money to the Environmental Farm Program, Ducks Unlimited has been working directly with producers to reduce the impact of farms on wetlands.  One such way is by financially assisting ranchers fence off wetlands from their cows.

Bruce Harrison, a biologist at Ducks Unlimited, said that a key question the members of Ducks Unlimited have asked themselves is, “How can we make it so cows and ducks can coexist as much as possible?”

Harrison said that projects such as the fencing off of wetlands are not only good for the environment and at-risk ecosystems, but that they benefit producers as well.  He said that, by keeping manure out of the water, ranchers are able to raise meatier, healthier cows.  The end result is a happy rancher, and a happier duck.

Further resources at the disposal of environmentally conscious producers are available via through programs created by two environment-oriented funds.  The Agriculture Environment Initiative includes two separate funds which are available for environmental purposes.  The funds have been used to develop a wide range of plans, from cutting down snake mortality in the Okanagan to reducing the affects of wildlife on ranches.

However, when a mid-term report on the project’s effectiveness appeared in 2004, it noted that the funds allocated to the program were not spent as quickly as expected, possibly indicating a lack of enthusiasm for, or knowledge of, the program.  The result was that the program was extended three years so that all the funds could be spent.

The Agriculture Environment Initiative is scheduled to expire in 2007.  However, a conference on the environment will be held soon where Cattlemen president Nairn said, “We’re hoping [the federal government] will continue their commitment to the program.”  He said that the program has done a lot of good for ranchers.

Of the few “Irish” options available to revellers on St. Patrick’s Day none were able to capture the truly spirit of the Irish.  After visiting the three pubs, the one thing seeming to be lacking from all venues was that none were, shall we say, dank­ enough.  High ceilings, lots of room, and an overall lack of atmosphere made it so no pub was able to recreate what I imagine an Irish pub would be like. 

One reason for this may be because, here in Canada with more room to build, there is a premium on visibility and space.  This means that the intimateness of pubs in Irish and certainly Britain, which I have visited, are not duly recreated.
 

Ideally, I imagine an Irish pub seating no more than a handful of patrons huddled on bar stools as close to the Guinness as possible in a smoky basement.  While I am in full support of the anti-smoking laws in B.C., it would be nice if the other requirements could be fulfilled.
 

Unfortunately this was not the case.  Aside from two intoxicated individuals at Pogue Mahones who approached our table and started a discussion over a minibike on the wall, drunken louts were in short supply.  All bars featured much space and clean tables and floors.  Worse, Sgt. O’Flaherty’s and Kelly O’Briens ended up trying so hard to be Irish that it was impossible to imagine oneself actually at a pub in Ireland.  For that reason, and because of the two friendly drunks I will raise my beer glass to Pogue Mahone’s as Kamloop’s best Irish pub.

            Maybe it was the fact that this was the Trews’ third time playing Kamloops in the past year and a half.  Maybe it was because they’ve been constantly touring in support of their latest album for the last six months.  Or maybe it was because guitarist Angus MacDonald’s nose was twitching. 

For whatever reason though, Wednesday’s show at Cactus Jack’s was made memorable more by the packed and enthusiastic bar crowd than by the roots-rock hitmakers.

            The Trews took the stage to a packed dance floor and quickly launched into a set chock full of radio hits from their two major-label albums.  “Fleeting Trust” was an early favourite and the band was tight throughout the set.  However, despite singer/guitarist’s Colin MacDonald’s best efforts, the band didn’t seem to have the energy or chemistry displayed in past Kamloops appearances.

            Lead guitarist Angus seemed to lack his normal enthusiasm and tucked himself into a corner of the stage behind one of the massive speakers.  There he remained for most of the show with nary a word nor wink for his brother Colin.  Few crowd members seemed to notice the tension though, and by the time the band launched into “Tired of Waiting” the crowd was pulsating.

            “Tired of Waiting,” was just a warm-up though as the band smoothly transitioned into a frantically paced cover of the Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” which was undoubtedly the highlight of the night. 

The unspoken friction between Colin and Angus continued though.  After transitioning back into “Tired of Waiting”, Angus strummed his guitar to the centre of the stage, closed in a power stance, and stared at his brother, who still did not make eye contact with him.

But the concert went on with the tension between the brothers matched only by Angus’s guitar strings as he launched into one of the blazing solos which had made past Trews shows stand out. 

As the evening wound down, The Trews made several more forays into legendary classic rockers, sampling “Fat Bottomed Girls,”  “Cum On Feel The Noise,” and closing the encore with an impressive cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Rock and Roll.”

In interesting news, The Trews did not play two scheduled shows in Victoria and Vancouver this weekend.  According to their website this was “due to illness.”  Whether the sickness is physical or just between band members will be something to keep an eye on.

            The Novaks had opened the evening with an uninspiring and admittedly sloppy half hour set.  However they showed glimmers of the energy that has earned the Newfoundland band two East Coast Music Awards nominations.

            Rocketface followed the Novaks on stage and began playing to an audience that was more preoccupied with chatting and talking than dancing and rocking.  However, by the end of their entrancing set, the three piece band had Cactus Jack’s pushing towards the stage and calling out for more. 

Vocalist and drummer Joseph Janisse won the crowd over with a stage presence rarely seen, especially from drummers (Old joke: How do you know the stage is balanced? There’s drool coming out both sides of the drummer’s mouth).  Of course Janisse’s vocal talents—he alternated between a piercing falsetto and a snarling growl—is enough to keep the most sceptical audience member at bay.

Rocketface punctuated their appearance with by an outstanding cover of Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Child.”  After closing with “Dirty,” the single which has announced their arrival on Canadian radio, the band left to an ovation usually seen only by headliners.

            Canada must seize the opportunity to assert its sovereignty over the Northwest Passage before it’s too late, Michael Byers told an engaged crowd at TRU last Tuesday night.  “If we don’t use our sovereignty now, we’re going to lose our sovereignty (in the north),” he said.

Byers is a Canada Research Chair in Global Politics and International Law at UBC and has previously taught at Duke and Oxford universities.  He was at TRU to talk about the laws of war from a US perspective and spoke on the subject earlier in the day.  His later speech, however, dealt with Arctic sovereignty after an informal vote by the audience of about 30.

Byers has spent much of the last year talking to Arctic leaders and scientists about the effect of global warming on the North.  What he has learned has convinced him that the issue is one that must be dealt with now.

Byers said that within the next five to ten years reinforced ships will be able to sail through the Northwest Passage, cutting 7,000 kilometres off the current Panama Canal route from Europe to Asia.

“With that shipping,” Byers warned, “there will be a significant risk of accidents.” 

Such an accident, Byers warned, would be far more damaging than the 1989 Exxon Valdez disaster in Alaska.  “It would take centuries for the ecosystem to recover from a major oil spill,” Byers said, citing the delicate nature of the Arctic environment.

He also outlined security concerns surrounding the issue, including the possibility of smugglers or terrorists using the passage.

Currently, the United States and most other nations maintain that the passage meets the definition of an international straight.  Canada, though, takes the stance that the Northwest Passage comprises historic internal waters and is therefore governable by Canadian law.

Byers is also an international lawyer and has advised the NDP on international affairs.  He said the Canadian definition could currently hold up in international courts.  But, he warned that if Canada begins to permit shipping through the passage before its legal status is resolved, Canada’s claim will all but disappear.

For this reason, Byers said, it’s vital for the government to work with the United States to come to an agreement on the issue.  Canada, must also take steps to assert itself in the Arctic, including building a polar class icebreaker.  Currently Canada is the only Arctic nation that does not have a polar classed icebreaker.  Byers said that this situation must be changed, saying that even South Africa possesses one such vessel. 

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has promised such a more active role in the Arctic, including a polar icebreaker.

Byers, while saying he “would never in a million years vote for (Harper),” said that he supported the Conservatives Arctic promises.

Expressing hope that Harper would fulfill his Arctic promises, Byers said that Harper should take additional steps, such as enforcing mandatory registration of arctic bound ships.

Byers closed by saying that, while the melting of the Northwest Passage presents opportunities for development in the Canadian north, that positive is far outweighed by the terrible consequences of global warming, including the imminent extinction of the Polar Bears.

http://thetyee.ca/Views/2006/01/30/DefendNorthwestPassage/

Sitting down prior to his Independent Centre show, Moka Only strikes a cigarette and, seeing my notepad instantly asks if he can draw a picture while being interviewed.

After I lend him my pad, Moka gets down to business. Right away, it’s clear that while Moka says everything has been great, more has been going on in Only-land than the plotting of Canadian hip-hop dominance.

Moka, who has been touring in support of his first major-label solo CD, Desired Affect, is best known for singing the choruses to Swollen Members hits. However, the more he talks, the more Moka seems prepared, and perhaps eager, to abandon all that in an effort to return to the world of raw underground hip-hop.

Moka said that Desired Affect will still be promoted to its fullest, pointing out that he just finished shooting a new video. However, aside from supporting the album, he promises, “From this point forward it’s going to be more raw.”

This includes the US version of Desired Affect, completed the day before the interview, which Moka says will be rawer and more beat-oriented. He says that its such a different approach that only one or two of the tracks on the US version would be recognizable to Canadian fans.

Despite success on Muchmusic for the lead-off single “Once Again” Moka says that the radio-friendly approach taken towards the Canadian version of Desired Affect “might have been a mistake.” He says that, in hindsight, it may have been better if he had catered the album more towards his old base of underground fans that he had built up through years of solo work prior to Swollen Members.

In fact, Moka says that the challenge, and the goal, of his new solo work is not to bring over fans from Swollen Members, but to win back past fans who may have been disenchanted by his work with the chart-topping group.

That said, rapping is only a small part of what makes Moka tick.

In making Desired Affect Moka employed a number of different well-known producers but also took the reigns himself on a number of tracks. In fact, for Moka, beats are much more than background noise to rap over. “All I think about is beats,” he says. He pauses for a second, stops drawing and, as if relating a dark secret, says, “To be honest, I could just do beats.”

To this end he’s recently completed a number of tracks and beats for projects overseas. Moka even has built a studio in his house, which he says means “I don’t have to deal with somebody else’s sterilized, hospital-esque place.”

On Desired Affect Moka teams up with a number of collaborators including K-OS. While he says most came about in a purely professional way, Moka says that he was thrilled just to hear MF Doom, who he has long listened to and whom he personally recruited for the album, say his name on tape.

For the most part though, Moka says he’s not plugged in to the Canadian rap scene. Rather, Moka’s personal listening habits are more likely to stray towards British melody-poppers the High Llama’s, “lots of jazz,” and recently Frank Zappa.

But, while Moka can talk at length about Bloc Party and The Darkness, he is most passionate about the problems with mainstream music, and its causes.

The mainstream public, he says, don’t care about the artist. “I don’t see why kids don’t want to know more,” he says. “People want things handed to them.”

Television, which Moka calls a “magic box” may be to blame for this apathy. He says, “People have the disposition where they want to be spoon fed.”

Yet hope and stability, Moka seems to believe, lies in the underground. He says that if there is one thing fans should know about him, it is that he believes in the underground.

“I believe in the underground because with the underground—most of these fans—are loyal,” he says, leaning close. “They believe in the artist and I’m not disposable to them. To the general record buying public I’m disposable. One year they’re buying my stuff, then next year they’re buying Ashlee Simpson.”

The funk-reggae-punk combo that is The Cranston Foundation played Heroes Pub Wednesday night to a rapt audience.

The Calgary band returned to TRU after playing on club day in September to support their latest CD, communicate. The Cranston Foundation dazzled the hundred or so people in attendance. The crowd’s enthusiasm, although not overpowering, caused lead guitarist, Amos Bradley, to proclaim them the best Wednesday night crowd he’s played for.

The five piece band played two sets of 45 minutes, with rhythm guitarist Alex Black and occasional bongo player Rick Polson sharing lead vocalist duties. Vocally, Polson switched between reggae, rap, and hardcore while Black added a decidedly punk voice to the eclectic band. The resulting sound was enough to prompt some crowd members to dance, a rarity for a Wednesday night concert.

Throughout the set the band switched between reggae, punk, ska, hardcore and funk, sometimes all within the course of the same song. The group’s smooth transitions and long set displayed an experience and maturity rarely seen at Heroes Pub.

Often the band would crank up the volume and launch into a punk rage only to slam on the brakes mid-song and reverting to mellow reggae and jagged, cutting guitars. While a risky approach, the band pulled it off and, though few music critics seem to have heard the band, if The Cranston Foundation ever makes it big you can expect critical raves from coast to coast.

The only downside was Heroes’ sound quality, which occasionally resulted in overpowering distortion.

The Cranston Foundation, who were on their way to Vancouver to play a couple shows, have opened in the past for Can-rock stalwarts such as Treble Charger, I Mother Earth and 54-40.

The band is beginning to build up a dedicated following in Kamloops and shows such as Wednesday’s epic will only enhance the band’s local stature.

by Tyler Olsen

(this article has not yet been published)

On a dreary Friday night, the Schmidts, a band supposedly from 30s-era Berlin take the stage at a small Manchester club dressed in matching suits. After a brief introduction they launch into that newest and strangest of musical genres—gypsy punk. Their set contains songs full of punch-lines, pop-culture references, and witty banter. At one point Francois Schmidt beats away on his bongo drums and cackles in a gay-Berlin accent “I love the bongos!” to which his band mate Herrbert Schmidt replies “I love the titties!”

It should be enough to get people laughing, even if its only a small, early evening crowd assembled at the Night N’ Day Café. Yet there are no chuckles, guffaws, or belly laughs and the band, shot down in their attempt to be funny, launch quickly into another song.

Perhaps no one’s listening. After all, the Schmidts’ opening spot might as well signal to people that they can ignore the band, even if they would turn out to be the evening’s most entertaining band. But maybe, just maybe, the lack of laughter is a symptom of the fact that people no longer expect to laugh at music. Nod their heads, yes, dance, maybe, but laugh? Of course not.

Listen to the radio and you would be convinced that humour no longer exists in music. Singers brag about the size of their genitals, cry about unrequited love, or scream about a crazy night out. And, while there may be an ironic reference or play on words here or there, genuine laughs are never expected. Unless, of course, you’re listening to a cheesy radio spot. People want to know when they should laugh and so we get serious songs and goofy djs.

There are still funny songs being written and they do, very occasionally, make it onto the radio. But for every “Bad Touch,” there are a hundred “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” So why the dearth of humour on the radio?

Deena Weinstein has taught the Sociology of Rock, among other classes, at the University of Depaul in Chicago for 25 years. She believes that the lack of laughs is a symptom of the decline of humour in mass society. Weinstien says that the large-scale changes, both geographical and political, that society underwent in the 1960s hurt humour targeted at a mass audience. “Humour requires a common culture in order to get it and there’s not much of a common culture left,” she says. “It requires common experiences, ideas, knowledge—and this is lacking in the mass culture.”

Weinstein says that in her Sociology of Rock class, many students cannot name one Beatles song. The combination of ignorance and cultural division hurt humour she says. “People like jokes but you can’t have it in mass media because people are so divided.”

Weinstein, though, does not put the blame solely on society’s shoulders—at least when it comes to a lack of humour in rock music. When “rock n’ roll” became simply “rock,” she says, it became ideologically serious. Rock musicians became focussed on presenting a serious image and the humour that was present with artists like Frank Zappa disappeared.

Today, humour in rock is scant. “Where we find humour in popular music we find it in country music and we find it in pop,” she says. “Humour in rock almost by definition does not exist.”

Weinstein has a point. A listen to modern rock radio, especially in the United States where she’s based, and one can be forgiven for thinking that rock musicians have never heard of a jolly thing called humour.

Yet one genre of rock goes against the grain and, although it continues to reside mostly outside the mainstream, provides rock’s only real belly laughs. The genre is punk and its humour, classy or not, is evident in the abundance of popular albums with titles like “Punk in Drublic” and songs called “Christmas time for my penis.”

An example of punk’s embrace of humour can be found in the songs of Swedish punk band Randy. Despite being virulent socialists, their serious messages are often balanced by songs that bring a smile to your face.

An example is “The Exorcist” which appears on their first album and deals, not with Marx, Smith, or the problems of capitalism, but with the movie “The Exorcist” and its sequels. Its deadpan delivery and strong rhythm make it one of the best songs on the album.

Also on the album is a song which deals with fans wondering how they can call themselves socialists and still charge for t-shirts. Like many of Randy’s topics, its dealt with light-heartedly. Vocalist and co-lyricist Stefan Granberg says that humour is an effective tool to use against such people. “I like the combination for sure,” he says. “You make fun of somebody and it makes them think more…than if you scream ‘Fuck you’ at them.”

Granberg thinks that the prevalence of humour in punk, compared to other forms of rock may be due to the types of people punk tends to draw in. “There are lots of open minded and great people who are in the punk scene. Metal people aren’t as fun.”

Indeed, after cooling their comic heels on the music-focussed Welfare Problems, an album Granberg says may have been a little too serious, their recently released Randy the Band leads off with what Granberg thinks is the funniest song he ever wrote. The opener, “Punk rock high” leads off with the lines:

I went to punk rock high and the school of rock

I got an electric guitar to compensate my small cock

I got a high squeaky voice like a mouse in a can

That's the way that I am

The sad thing is, of course, that there is very little chance of “Punk rock high” ever ending up on radio, especially in the U.S.

Instead, mainstream media has taken to punk’s more serious and slower offspring, the apt-titled, emo. Unsurprisingly, emo deals with emotional subjects and much of the humour that one finds in typical punk is absent. For a foothold on radio, punk has thus compromised one of its defining characteristics.

You can of course find jokes and music mingling freely. You just can’t find it on the radio. If you want to have your music, and laugh too you have three options, television, novelty songs, and punk.

Television has been a bastion of music and humour for years, from Monty Python’s Eric Idle singing the “Lumberjack Song” to Bart Simpson’s “Do the bart-man.”

On radio though, there has been a decline in humour. Mike Jones, course director of an M.A. in music industry studies at the University of Liverpool, and former lyricist for 80s group Latin Quarter, sees a number of different reasons for this lapse.

To Jones, the old-concept of the novelty record has suffered a decline in recent years, as illustrated most vividly by recent Christmas #1s in Britain. This he says is one of the reasons for the lack of humour on the radio: the fact that records made by artists who are comedians first and musicians second are no longer as common-place as they were years ago.

Jones points to a shift not only in the music industry, but in the way comedians tell jokes. “Comedy itself has shifted from what was called family comedy,” he says. “Comedy nowadays is far more cruel, far more savage, far more vicious and you can’t play cruel, vicious records on Radio 1 or Radio 2.”

Jones thinks the concept of radio programming is important. “If you think of the flow of a radio program, I don’t think you can avoid the fact that [a funny record] disrupts the flow,” he says. Jones says that programs are created to fit target audiences and a comedy record does not fit in with most of what one hears.

Indeed, your typical top 40 radio program is designed to play as background music, whether for workers, commuters, or students. The attention a funny song demands in order to “get it” is usually lacking. Perhaps this is the main factor.

The dominance of television and the internet in the home means that radio is no longer a primary entertainment activity and so is relegated to the background. So, with the goal being not to shock you but lull you into a daze, songs and messages blend seamlessly into one another.

Or, as Randy’s “I won’t play that song” complains about the songs played on radio: “It ain't no mashed potato, it sure ain't no funky chicken.”

But maybe, it’s best to take Eric Idle’s advice and look on “The bright side of life.”

With the emergence of MP3 technology, consumers can now be their own djs, with the power to make their own listening program as sad, macho, or funny as they want. The modern music connoisseur may not be able to get humour on the radio, but all the funky chickens one could possibly desire are only a click away.

There is something strangely embarrassing about speaking in a foreign accent in another country. It’s like wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m not from here.” People still treat you very nice but there is a feeling akin to that of being watched. You just feel like you don’t totally fit in.

So when, on December 16, I finally returned to Canada after almost five months abroad, it felt as if I’d taken off that large FOREIGNER shirt and instantly turned into a local—even in Vancouver at the airport. There’s a simple joy to knowing the customs at local pubs that cannot be overstated.

The things I’ve found I’ve missed most, aside from my friends and family, are simple things like the friendly greetings on entering a grocery store and familiar brands of relatively cheap food. The dry cold of the British Columbian interior is welcome compared to the wet British winters which, despite temperatures rarely diving below freezing, seem to cast damp icicles into one’s skin.

Being able to lay back, watch Hockey Night in Canada, and engage in conversations about the best sport in the world is also a welcome change from soccer-mad Britain.

If I want to buy something, I don’t need to do a quick calculation to figure out how much it’s actually costing me (although I’ve found I sometimes convert prices to British pounds, a satisfying habit). Taking out cash doesn’t cost me five dollars and I can use my debit card at will, or at least that is if it works in the merchant’s debit machine—my credit union card, while free to use, is about as reliable as a British car.

Canadian cuisine is also a delight now. Perogies, eggos, cheez whiz, kraft dinner have never tasted better—true such products may not be entirely Canadian or even partially healthy, but when one dines on them as often as a student does, their absence creates a void.

And then there are the bonuses that come with living close to the centre of a smaller city—walks at midnight are possible, food stores are within easy walking distance. I can shove on a toque, a jacket and my discman—all of which I was without in England—and just go for a brisk walk in Sahali.

While I miss certain things about England, namely my roommates, the cheap and excellent frozen pizza, and the soccer on primetime television in pubs, returning to Kamloops is a delight and has me pumped for my final semester.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/cartoons/martinrowson/0,7371,1658052,00.html

Two things of note:

A) the palace of the King and Queen Norway has less security than a building at the University of Salford.  There are formal looking guards but you can walk right up, and probably touch, the castle.

B) why does my Coca-cola say on the side of it: Soft drink with vegetable extracts. ?

Walking down Oslo’s main street, we were making a beeline for a pub when someone from a nearby bus stop called out to Pete, my Norwegian host and former Kamloops roommate.  Turning around, I expected to find Pete talking to one of his many Oslo fans.  He would introduce me as his “friend from Canada” and the friend would burst into perfect English, as was the Norwegian custom.  I was stunned when I saw that the person who had called out to Pete was none other than Lars, our roommate for a month in Kamloops and the only other person I knew in all of Norway.

Apparently Lars, who returned to his home in the west of Norway in October in last year, had moved to Oslo to go to school.  It was the first time Pete had seen him in the six months since he had returned from.  While unsurprising, considering the size of Oslo, the fact that of all the days to see him, Pete had run in to him while I was here, left me shaking my head.

I was in Norway to visit Pete, who studied last year in Kamloops and who, on hearing that I would be “in the area” kindly offered me a place to stay.

So, having never been to Norway, and with the 1100 kilometre from Liverpool to Oslo flight costing much less than a bus ticket between Kamloops and Vancouver, I jumped at the opportunity.

After Pete picked me up from the bus station in the evening, we wound our way through the streets and tunnels of Oslo towards the apartment he shared with his mom and sister.

We watched out a soccer match involving a Norwegian team which was punctuated by a player having his leg snapped by an opposing player going for the ball before leaving the cozy confines of the apartment and heading downtown. 

For a city with a history dating back 1000 years Oslo reeks of modernity.  Glass buildings abound and even the old buildings seem new.  Indeed, of all the cities I’ve visited, it most resembles a Canadian city, with its modern buildings and many open spaces.

However, once inside a bar, it becomes obvious that there are two things that separate Oslo and Canada.  Language and cost.  While the language issue is easily overcome by the fact that almost everyone seems to be able to speak excellent English, the cost is a larger obstacle.  When an average beer at a pub costs the equivalent of about $7cdn, it makes for very, very slow drinking.

The other distinguishing element of Oslo is how far north it is and thus, how quick it gets dark.  Around 3:00 in the afternoon the sun starts to fade and lights start to go on across the city.  Considering the weather is somewhat similar to that of Kamloops, its hard to believe that, if it were in Canada, it would be pushing up against the provinces’ borders with the Northwest Territories.

Indeed as my plane, delayed until 4:00, lifted off and headed towards England, the sun had disappeared well below the horizon and the Scandinavian night had begun its descent.

            It’s hard to write about newspapers and make it sound interesting so I’ll start with this interesting fact: Every day on page three of two national newspapers a different bare-breasted young woman appears.  In The Sun, the most read newspaper in the world, a small quotation blurb is placed near her mouth plugging, in supposedly her own words, a news story later in the paper.

            Now that I have your attention, I’ll begin at the start.  Britain is a nation of newspaper-readers.  There are no fewer than nine national newspapers, dealing with Britain as a whole, along with city-based newspapers in each large community.  The papers are generally classified into different qualities with some papers taking a mostly objective, respectable stand on reporting the news and others, well, not.

The infamous tabloids, of which The Sun, is the most famous, are an example of this.  Tabloids are low-cost and low-class.  My only experience comes from reading my flat-mates copies but they are blatantly sensationalist and sometimes hideously opinionated.  They have no problem calling a murderer a “monster,” and other not-too-objective words.

            A recent controversy in Britain was whether the government should introduce laws allowing terror suspects to be detained for up to ninety days.  The Sun ran a headline telling the populace to support the bill and threatened that if the bill did not pass, further terror attacks were inevitable.

            There are, though, better papers including the world famous Times, The Guardian, and The Independent, which not only provide a better sense of the news, but often include free CDs and DVDs with their paper, making for a great deal.

            Also interesting is the fact that most city-based newspapers are published in the evening so that when you pick up a paper at 5 p.m., it details important stories that broke that day.

            Since this is appearing in a student paper, I might as well comment on the University of Salford’s student paper, Student Direct, which is actually aimed at all three Manchester universities.  With a student populace of 100,000 the reach of the paper is potentially greater than Kamloops Daily News.  It is large, professional looking and content wise impressive.  Unfortunately, the writing is so frustrating I’d rather have the paper soaking up the grease of some fish and chips than actual read the thing.  The oMega, despite what I’m sure is a horribly boring column this week from yours truly, shines in comparison.

            And so, I’ll wrap up this column by noting something I just read in my Sunday Independent.  Apparently Britain may be facing a winter of extreme temperatures that could, apparently, bring the country to its knees.  The last time such a winter occurred, in 1963, the temperature hovered at freezing between January and March.  The paper reports that the national weather office has “put the emergency services on amber alert (red comes only with the snowdrifts).”  And you thought Vancouverites overreacted when it snowed.

The ever-classy Sun: (image is copyrighted: so sue me Rupert Murdoch)

In a British newspaper, not too long ago, I read a column in which the writer complained how the countryside made him feel claustrophobic and caused him to long for the city.

I cannot even begin to understand his feelings on such a matter.

Perhaps it’s because I grew up, if not in the countryside, in a relatively small city where hills abounded and a pond was never far away.

Whatever the case nowhere do I feel more claustrophobic than a large city.  Sometimes it’s very manageable while other times its almost unbearable.  Living in a run-down area of a large urban city is only compounded by the fact that there are no hills to be seen.  Everywhere one looks is another soul, another fence, and another barrier. 

To some, I think, hills feel like walls, but for myself and, I’m sure, form many like me, to be able to see those sparse hills, devoid of human life and populated only by vegetation is comforting.  Even if I never head there, those spaces are areas where I at least have the option of going and leaving behind humanity, if only for an hour or two.  It’s a place where one can be the only person in miles- the opposite, in my opinion, of claustrophobia.

Standing in the middle of a city, with only a large sky and human-populated horizons, one feels at once, small and irrelevant, and boxed in and crowded.  Is that a complaint? Perhaps, but if anything it’s a ode to hills and mountains.

Two weeks ago I headed to northern Wales and Snowdonia National Park.  The park is littered with small towns but, also, with rivers that run down valleys, the sides of which are coated in the fall with red and orange-leaved trees. 

Only, a two-hour train ride from the industrial heartland of England, the park feels a world away.  Inside the park lies the highest peak in all of England or Wales, Mt. Snowdon which, with a peak at 1085 metres, is only slightly more than half the height of Sun Peaks.  Yet in the British Isles, a set of islands a quarter of the size of B.C. but with a population twice that of Canada, the mountains seem at odds with everything one has seen.

Indeed, if anything, the most frustrating thing about being on a short-term exchange is the inability to buy a car that would enable one to leave the cities, vibrant and enthralling as they are, for the legendary British countryside.  From what I’ve seen from train-windows, it would be ideal for roadtrips, despite the sky-high cost of fuel (about $2/litre).  And, while the fuel may be expensive, and insurance costs are unknown, used-cars seem cheap.  Just yesterday I passed a 90s model Volvo for sale for less than $2000cdn which, in Canada, would go for at least triple that.

            The fireworks store had, literally, popped up overnight.  One day there was just a metal screen over what looked to be an abandoned storefront, the next day there it was, fluorescent lights proclaiming Fireworks Sold Here! 

It was Guy Fawkes Day and fireworks were going off anywhere and everywhere, the crashing explosions sending shockwaves through our bodies.  Approaching the store, we paused as my co-Canadian, Mark was sipping on a beer and we were unsure if we would be able to enter the store with open alcohol.  After seeing some pre-pubescent children enter the store, we decided the store was seedy enough. 

Inside fireworks abounded, some costing as much as 45 pounds and looking as if they could take down a helicopter.  The store manager, after telling the young kids to come back when the store was less busy, asked us what type of fireworks we were looking for.  We didn’t know, to which he asked if we were interested in “kids fireworks or adult fireworks.”

“Definitely adult fireworks,” Mark said.  After some looking, we pointed out a set of ten fireworks that looked promising, yet, for 6 pounds, not overly expensive.

“Are they adult fireworks?” we asked, unsure as to how to actually tell the difference between adult and kids fireworks.  In Canada, in many places, you can’t legally light off fireworks, period.  In the UK not only can you indiscriminately set them off anywhere, it seems that you can do so at any age.

After the manager confirmed they were, indeed, adult fireworks, he bagged them and, fishing coins out of a clear plastic cup, gave us our change.  As we left, the manager reminded Mark not to forget his beer, which he had set down on the counter in order to pocket the change.

Once outside we discussed the concept of “adult” fireworks and came to the conclusion that, where “kids” fireworks could burn you, “adult” fireworks could burn, maim or kill.

With the fireworks purchased, we returned to our apartments to retrieve a lighter—and beer—and proceeded to head towards the soccer field in the centre of the student housing complex.  Once we were in a relatively safe place we proceeded to light said fireworks and send them in various directions.  Beers in hand, we stood 50 metres from the nearest building and pondered whether we were probably being overly safe, considering most fireworks seem to erupt from a porch or balcony.

After finishing off the pyrotechnics, including a symbolic salvo in the direction of the security guards’ office, we headed home to the sound of explosions, near and far.  We had deemed Guy Fawkes Day to be relatively successful until we were told that it was actually the next day, Saturday.  It seems that the fireworks which were lit constantly for three hours were only a taste of what was to come the next day.

Sure enough, on Saturday, starting at around 5 p.m. fireworks could be heard, and seen, erupting across the city.  For seven hours this continued, prompting me to wonder just how much money the Brits spend on personal pyrotechnic displays.

In England, accents are like opinions.  Everyone has one and while some are easy to understand, others are downright inintelligible.

But I'll start with the British accents.

The Scottish accent has widely been stereotyped as some crazy dialect, loud, and angry.  And it is. But, perhaps because of our familiarity with it, the Scottish accent is entrancing and often easy to understand. 

That is, if you can restrain yourself from laughing.  Indeed, for much of the week I spent in Scotland, every time I heard someone speak I would have to bite my tongue to prevent an impish grin from giving away my amusement.

However, once one gets to England the accent changes from charming and amusing to often downright irritating.

Of course this is tempered by the fact that every city has at least one accent unique to that area.

 Admittedly I usually can't distinguish between regional accents like my English roommates can.  However, the so-called Geordie accent spoken by the people of the Northeastern city of Newcastle is so distinguishable, and unintelligible, that even I can understand why my non-Geordie roommates playfully mock my Newcastle-bred roommate.

Their favourite trick is to get him to say head, which inveritably comes out as "heed."  A couple weeks ago he was saying that he had a headache.  Instead of sympathy, however, my roommates burst out laughing at the sound of "heedache."
 
            But, while I’m on the topic of headaches and out of accen-based anecdotes, I’ll take the time to note that England does not embrace Halloween the same way we do in North America.  Sure there are costumes for young children but it is certainly not the celebration that it is in Canada. 

Instead, the English have Guy Foxes Day where they honour the man who tried to blow up Parliament by trying their mightiest to blow themselves up in an orgy of fireworks.  Or so it seems.  Indeed, while the day has yet to take place, the number of fireworks going off each night has risen dramatically. 

Whereas there used to be maybe one or two audible fireworks that went off each night—still a large number considering it’s in the middle of a city—now whole volleys are going off.  In a way it’s reassuring.  For the first while it was impossible to be sure that the explosions that occurred every night were fireworks and not explosions of a more serious and dangerous kind, like gunshots.  It was only the apathy that every one else took to the frequent explosions that reassured me.  Still, sometimes the explosions are so loud, and seemingly so close, that it has me jumping out of my chair.